kato: (Default)

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Why is it every single fucking time I depend on someone they end up letting me down?

Most kids (while they live with their parents, which I still admittedly do), have a few expectations of the arrangement.

1. Feed me.

2. Clothe me.

3. Protect me.

4. Make sure I have any sort of prescription/OTC medication absolutely necessary.

And for some reason, my parent's either can't or won't continue to remember the last expectation. Every time they 'forget' to pick up, say, Midol or something, it's my fault that they forgot because I was there with them and had enough money to buy less than a box when they said 'I'm gonna get (Medication) because it's better to have more than just one box/bottle.' When I bring it up later (which inevitably starts a fight and that annoying sinking feeling of let-down) I'm 'over-reacting' and when I show that, yes, the box of twenty-four Midol won't last all that long because of a) my weight which requires a dosage of two pills and b) the speed at which this wears off, requiring me to take it once in the morning, once at noon, and once in the evening to keep my cramps from waking me up at night/making me nearly pass out/making me throw up/making me too weak to even handle going out of the house, I'm somehow 'doing it wrong'.

What the fuck.

kato: (Default)

So, me and my mom get into an argument about the existance of robots, and it led to me pulling up a bunch of science articles for her to read. I dropped 'em off in her room and left, going back to the computer to chatter at a friend, and then in about five minutes go back.

She's read them all, but for some reason kept saying 'they're real but I don't care for it' because for some unknown to me reason she decided I was arguing for their existance because I'm phobic of human contact (I actually am, but only physical contact. I dun like being touched.) and want one to teach me.



kato: (Default)
'Who sir? You sir? No-one's in the chair!'

Come on everybody, this is the official spam me post. Post anonymously if you want, post in your account if you prefer that, and most of all, feel free to get whatever shit you want off of your chest. Rant about the happenings in the world, online, or in your life.
kato: (Default)
So, I had a scare today. Thought my lappy stopped working for a while. But, I'm here, so, obviously, I was wrong. Thank god.
kato: (Default)
never again )

Seriously. I wrong-window someone with my own comments in that window.
kato: (Default)
My family's oldest cat, by this point about 15 to 20 years old, has developed a sudden, very painful (judging by the way he spits when he puts weight on it) limp in his right hind leg. Due to his age, there's not much to be done for it, and we may have to put him down. He was the first cat I can remember having, and definitely the friendliest cat we've ever had. Affectionate, obediant, loving, all of these things are my Chubby kitty. I know it's for the best, but I'm still going to miss him.
kato: (Default)
So, the game I ordered from RightStuf showed up today, and I'm enjoying playing it so far. If anybody reading this is thinking of getting Animamundi: Dark Alchemist, DO IT. It's (to quote Peter Griffen) freakin' sweet!


Sep. 29th, 2007 07:36 pm
kato: (Default)
So. I had Surgery last weekend.

Details here to spare the squeamish )

So that's why I was out of commission for most of this week. But I'm back now.
kato: (Default)
Just got back from four days on the coast. Was happy all the way home. Got home. Started to unload. Came into computer room. Last bird is dead. Have to get it out. Sorry for short sentences. Checking messages & e-mail now.
kato: (Default)
So...my parents and I were supposed to go out to dinner tonight. I'm sitting down in my computer chair, struggling with my shoes and trying to shut it off at the same time. My dad came in as I hit 'start' and started yelling, accusing me of 'playing with the computer'. Of course, I ended up in my room for about twenty minutes, trying to stop shaking (He's like a totally different, totally scary person when he gets mad). What kind of world does he live in? Since when do you yell and scream at somebody for doing what you want them to do?

Plans have been called off, because now neither of us feel like being around each other. We're a lot like two wolves circling each other and sizing each other up. It's way too tense here. I almost wish I had that sick courage to just...find a way out. I know that sounds horrible, but it's true. I really can't stand the way he acts sometimes, and every time I try to spend a little bit of time with him, it either ends with a screaming match or the two of us just ignoring each other. Please...it's just getting too hard to try anymore. Somebody please...help...

Dammit...I'm crying again...
kato: (Default)
So, my mom went nuts after I walked through the living room with some fics. My dad happened to be in the room at the time, and after my mom told him that what I had was 'sick, sick shit' started on about how I was a chimo. About an hour and a dozen or more pages later, I handed him this.

'Okay, fine. I'll admit it. It was porn, pure and simple. Oh how bad of me to be interested in sex past the age of first being able to reproduce. What does that make me again? Oh yeah. Human.'

I swear, the first thing that went through his head was 'oh thank god it's just porn'. He's dropped it and let me be.
kato: (Default)
So, I got my grades in the mail today. I ended up passing all but two classes, one of which was an elective, and not really what matters. What does matter, however, is the fact that I got a goddamn F in math class. So, I wandered over to my schools online grade site and found something out. The finals that the teacher gave out to those in my class year haven't been added. And her last update to grades was a full three days before, with the senior finals put in. And the grade check was fully ten days after the last update, by which time the grades for every single non-senior final in her classes hadn't yet been entered. Considering I answered every question on the thing, and did the extra-credit sudoku worksheet she handed out on the last 20 minute class, I should have passed. But I didn't.

Pissed rant over.
kato: (Default)
So, I finally took the plunge. My heart's beating like crazy, but I finally asked, even if it was awkward. And...it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, honestly. She was really great about it, even if there's not much of a chance now. At least I got it out. Sitting on that kind of thing just makes you sick in the end with the 'what if?'s. Ah crap, I'm shaking.
kato: (Default)
So, there's someone in school who I like at this point...and I'm completely terrified of telling them, as I don't want to change what's going on. If I do, and they say yes, I'm screwed because I both talk to/eat with their ex-girlfriend daily, and if they say no, which I'm sure they might, it would get uncomfortable for me to be around this person.

I'm fairly damn sure that I would like it if they were my first (as I've never been interested in anybody else before).

For clarity: I both eat with/frequently talk to one of her ex's, who I suspect may still like her (they broke up over her inability to show that she cares). I'm also passive-aggressive, and have in fact been dropping a ton of hints, and nothing short of kissing her has worked so far. I'm not comfortable with forcing myself on somebody. I've also helped her through two or three relationships since I met her, and would most likely do it again so long as she herself was happy. This is something I've been stewing on for a surprisingly short time, as it's only been a couple months since I admitted that men aren't really doing it for me so far, and less time since I realized what I was feeling. I've never been interested in anyone before now, and the same goes for sex. Since I've admitted it to myself, I've come to realize that the one thing I'd want out of my first time would be that it was her.

Any suggestions in this case?

Rant time.

May. 10th, 2007 07:27 pm
kato: (Default)
So, I go to a school so far out of the way of any major town that a large majority of the town is white or hispanic. One of my friends, who is gay, was introduced to another boy, who had just come out. So, he calls this guy and they talk for four hours and are going out by the next day. The guy wants my friend to b the man in the relationship, so he says yes. He also lends his boyfriend most of his Gravitation and other manga. THEY BROKE UP TWO DAYS LATER. Wanna know why? He 'wasn't manly enough'. WHAT. THE. FUCK??? That has to be the worst fucking reason to break up with a guy. Goddamn.
kato: (Default)
I am so damn tired of being dumped on. My mom's dumping on me for my weight, and the fact that she found some of my yaoi. My friend's dumping on me because it's been 51 hours since she said she would first be on and we only got to talk for five minutes because her mom decided that she had to do something then. Is it my fault that I'd get irritated like everybody else would? No, it's not, and I'm tired of being treated like it is. Just because I act permanently stuck on happy doesn't mean I am. LEARN TO RECOGNIZE A DAMN MASK, PEOPLE.
kato: (Default)
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I respond by asking you a couple personal questions so I can get to know you better. If I already know you well, expect the questions may be a little more intimate!
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

My answers )
kato: (Choke a bitch)
Reply to this post, and I will tell you my favorite icon of yours. Then post this to your own journal using your own favorite icon.

Merely comment, and I will:
1) Tell you why I friended you
2) Associate you with a song/movie
3) Tell a random fact about you
4) Tell a first memory about you
5) Associate you with an animal/fruit
6) Ask something I've always wanted to know about you
7) In retort, you MUST spread this disease in your LJ
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