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"PEOPLE ARE GONNA WANNA KNOW HOW IT ALL WENT DOWN,"
"YOU CAN TELL 'EM, HUD."

"NO, NO, I HAVE TO HOLD THIS CAMERA. IT'S A MAJOR PLOT POINT AND THE KILLER OF ALL IT FILMS."

"OH MY GOD, A GIANT TAIL, SHOULD I RUN OR JUST STAND HERE AND DIE? I THINK I'LL JUST STAY HERE AND DIE!"

"OH MY GOD, MY IDIOT BROTHER JUST DIED IN AN ACCIDENT HE COULD HAVE KEPT FROM OCCURING!"

"OH MY GOD, ROB, GET OUT OF THE CHEAPLY DISGUISED AD FOR NOKIA!"

"OH MY GOD, MY GIRLFRIEND WHO I HAVE COMPLETELY IGNORED UNTIL NOW IS HURT. I MUST PLACE MYSELF IN HARM'S WAY TO SAVE HER!"

"OH MY GOD, ROB, STOP LEADING US INTO THIS OBVIOUS DEATHTRAP!"

"OH MY GOD, ARMY MEN WITH GUNS AND SHOOTING! I MUST FLEE LIKE A COCKROACH FOR IT IS TOO LOUD AND BRIGHT!"

"OH MY GOD, ROB, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! THIS IS MESSED UP!"

"OH MY GOD GIANT MUTATED WHALE!"

"OH MY GOD...I TOTALLY JUST TRIPPED DOWN THOSE SUBWAY STEPS. HEY, GUYS, YOU THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO GET INTO AN ENCLOSED SPACE DURING AN EMERGENCY? ... GUYS? ... YEAH, I THOUGHT SO TOO."

"OH MY GOD, YOU WANNA GO DOWN THE DARK SUBWAY TUNNEL? I'M IN!"

"OH MY GOD, LOOK AT ME, I'M SO FUNNY. I ANNOUNCE IRRELEVANT TO THE CURRENT SITUATION THEORIES AND THE EXISTANCE OF SUPERMAN! AND THEN I AM AMAZED THAT A WOMAN KNOWS WHO SUPERMAN IS! WOAH, WOMEN READ COMICS TOO!?"

"OH MY GOD, WHAT WAS THAT LOUD NOISE!?"

"OH MY GOD, RATS RUNNING AWAY FROM SOMETHING! LET'S NOT BOTHER RUNNING, LET'S JUST SPEEDWALK."

"OH MY GOD, WHAT'S THAT CLICKING/HISSING NOISE. DUDE, TURN ON THE NIGHT VISION. ... RUN FROM THE CREATURES WITH CHASE INSTINCTS! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"

"OH MY GOD, BUGS-CHEWING-GUM-NOISE!"

"OH MY GOD, STOP HITTING MY LEGS!"

"OH MY GOD, EW, YOU GOT BITTEN. POOR LOVE-INTEREST-GIRL."

"OH MY GOD, LOOK, I'M TRYING TO MAKE A LAME JOKE ABOUT MALE QUEENS."

"OH MY GOD, SOMEHOW THE SUBWAY LED US INTO A MALL. WAIT, WHAT?"

"OH MY GOD, LOVE-INTEREST-GIRL IS DIZZY."

"OH MY GOD, ARMY MEN!"

"OH MY GOD, HELP US RESCUE THE IGNORED GIRLFRIEND."

"OH MY GOD, EW, WHAT WAS THAT."

"OH MY GOD, THERE'S A CHANCE WE'LL LIVE? NO! WE HAVE TO KEEP TRYING TO RESCUE IGNORED GIRLFRIEND!"

"OH MY GOD, LOVE-INTEREST-GIRL IS BLEEDING FROM ODD PLACES!"

"OH MY GOD...SHE WAS LIKE AN OVERFILLED BALLOON! GROSS AND SADMAKING!"

"OH MY GOD, LOSS NUMBER TWO!"

"OH MY GOD, WE'RE FACING THE POSSIBLE DESTRUCTION OF NEW YORK LIKE IN EVERY OTHER APOCOLYPTIC FILM ABOUT THE EAST COAST!"

"OH MY GOD, WATCH ME DO MY ONLY DECENT EMOTE IN THE WHOLE FILM."

"OH MY GOD, A HORSE AND BUGGY WITH NO DRIVER. SADMAKING!"

"OH MY GOD, THE IGNORED-GIRLFRIEND'S HOUSE IS LEANING AGAINST ANOTHER BUILDING!"

"OH MY GOD, WE COULD GO ROOFHOPPING TO GET TO HER! WAIT, WAIT WAIT WAIT, GUYS, NO, DON'T, DON'T LISTEN TO MY RAMBLING."

"OH MY GOD, IT'S ALL A GOVERMENT CONSPIRACY. LISTEN TO ME RAMBLE SO I DON'T GO CRAZY AND ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING INTERESTING."

"OH MY GOD, LOOK AT THIS PLACE. IT'S TILTED AND THINGS ARE SPARKING. LET'S CLIMB ACROSS IT! IT'S TOTALLY SAFE, I PROMISE!"

"OH MY GOD, CAMERA SKIP."

"OH MY GOD, MISSILES!"

"OH MY GOD, WE MADE IT, BUT THE DOOR'S STUCK. LET US POUND ON IT UNTIL IT OPENS. WOW, LISTEN TO THAT WIND."

"OH MY GOD, SHE'S SPEARED THROUGH THE CHEST SUSPICIOUSLY CLOSE TO HER HEART AND LUNGS BY REBAR! LET'S DO THE OBVIOUSLY BENEFICIAL THING OF RIPPING HER OFF DESPITE HER PROTESTS!"

"OH MY GOD, I HAVE TO PUT THE CAMERA DOWN TO DO THAT? OH, FINE, LET ME PUT IT DOWN IN A PLACE WHERE THE AUDIENCE CAN STILL HEAR THAT SICKENING FLESH RIP."

"OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT?!" "IT'S A TERRIBLE THING, NOW GO."

"OH MY GOD, SOLITARY PACK CREATURE! I SHALL ATTACK IT WITH AN AX AND WATCH IT SLAM AGAINST THE WALL IN A USELESS ATTEMPT TO DISLODGE THE AX FROM IT'S BACK."

"OH MY GOD! AND THAT?!" "ANOTHER TERRIBLE THING, NOW KEEP RUNNING LIKE THE REST OF THE MOVIE!"

"OH MY GOD, LAND-TO-AIR MISSILES AND ROARING! AAAAAAAH, THERE IT IS AGAIN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES AS IF YOU AREN'T TIRED BY ALL THE RUNNING WE'VE DONE ALREADY!"

"OH MY GOD, WATCH ME BE HEROIC AS I PROTECT THE GIRLFRIEND I HAVE IGNORED UNTIL NOW FROM THE LARGE AND OBVIOUSLY DANGEROUS CREATURE BEHIND US!"

"OH MY GOD, HELICOPTER!"

"OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, THEY'RE BOMBING IT AND WE CAN WATCH IT D---AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"OH MY GOD, THE HELICOPTER JUST CRASHED! HURT? NO, NO, WE AREN'T HURT, OBVIOUSLY. WHY WOULD THAT INJURE US IN ANY WAY?"

"OH MY GOD, ONE OF US WAS HURT!"

"OH MY GOD, I HAVE TO GO BACK FOR THE---OH MY GOD. GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!"

MONSTER, INTERLUDING ON THE ABOVE: "GOO?"

"OH MY GOD, THE ORIGINAL CAMERAMAN IS GONE BUT WE'RE STILL SOMEHOW ABLE TO FILM THIS WITHOUT HOLDING THE CAMERA."

"OH MY GOD, THIS IS OUR VIDEO EULOGY FOR OUR OWN MEMORIALS."

"OH MY GOD, THEY'RE BOMBING THE---*BOOM*"

"LIKE, OH MY GOD, HI, I'M THE IGNORED GIRLFRIEND! IF YOU LOOK BEHIND ME, YOU'LL SEE THE SATELLITE THAT WOKE UP BABY RAMPAGE FALL FROM THE SKY AND HIT THE WATER. WE'RE AT CONEY ISLAND, AND I'M ANNOYINGLY PERKY!"

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kato

May 2009

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